Raising Likeable, Responsible, Respectful

                    Put some new voices in my head, please.

KEY POINTS

• Affirmations are short statements that are said aloud or to oneself regularly.
• Émile Coué developed the practice of conscious autosuggestion in the early 1900s.
• Social psychologists have researched affirmations to improve stress, defensiveness, and academic performance.
• What we tell ourselves can change our feelings and our body's response.

Everyone has voices in their head. For many, they make up a constant long-running monologue. These voices are present even if you are not aware of them; they are conscious thoughts as well as unconscious beliefs.

Some people call this self-talk. Some call it metacognition. Some of these voices or messages are positive, but many are negative put-downs; "I am so stupid!" “I'll never be able to do it.” “I totally suck at this.” “I'll never be good at anything.” “I'm such a loser.” 

Source: Benzoix/Freepik

If you have negative thoughts running through your mind, can you change them? Can positive thinkinghelp? You may benefit from a positive psychology approach called self-affirmations.

What Are Affirmations?

Positive psychology is a field of psychology begun by Martin Seligman. It focuses on human strengths with the goal of emphasizing deep meaning and purpose in life. It utilizes techniques to improve life satisfaction and well-being. The utilization of personal affirmations is one such technique. What are affirmations?

Affirmations are short statements that are said aloud or to oneself regularly. They also may be written and placed in locations that are always visible to the individual. Daily affirmations are used in therapy to treat depression, negative thinking, low self-esteem, and self-doubt, and have been shown to improve life satisfaction and well-being.

A Brief History of Affirmations

The origin of affirmations is a bit fuzzy because experts disagree. Some believe the practice dates back to the ancient Egyptians, who had affirmations inscribed on amulets and other objects. Others point to the ancient Hindu and Buddhist tradition of mantra meditation. In the 17th century, the French philosopher René Descartes was credited with using the first recorded affirmation; "I think, therefore I am." Following in Descartes' steps, the French Psychologist, Émile Coué developed the practice of conscious autosuggestion in the early 1900s, called the Coué method. Clients repeated the following autosuggestion 20 times at the beginning and at the end of each day: "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better." Coué identified two types of self-suggestion

1. reflective suggestion made intentionally and deliberately
2. spontaneous suggestion made involuntarily without any conscious effort

Coué's work influenced a number of early 20th-century authors; including Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich) and Norman Vincent Peale (The Power of Positive Thinking). Over time, the term affirmation replaced the term autosuggestion. In 1978, author Jean Illsley Clarke wrote the classic book Self-Esteem: A Family Affair in which she introduces the concept of developmental affirmations. In her book Words That Help: Affirmations For Any Age, Every Stage, she explains; "Developmental Affirmations are positive messages that support health and growth". Developmental affirmations are based on Eric Erikson's stages of growth. "The Developmental Affirmations include permissions to grow, reminders of inborn capabilities, and assertions of love and support. For each developmental stage, the affirmations focus on jobs and attitudes that are central to growth at that age."

Affirmations Change Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions

Beginning in the 1980's social psychologists have conducted academic research on affirmations. This research is guided by self-affirmation theory. "Self-affirmation theory is a psychological theory that focuses on how individuals adapt to information or experiences that are threatening to their self-concept." Research has shown that the use of affirmations can buffer us against stress, reduce defensiveness, improve academic performance, and improve health. However, it should be noted that affirmations do not work for everyone; your affirmations should reflect your core personal values, if they don't you won't believe them.

Try This Thought Experiment

I have done this short thought experiment hundreds of times over my 37 years of teaching, always with the same outcome. I would like you to try it on your own to demonstrate that what we tell ourselves changes our feelings and our body's response.

1. Find a willing participant. Assure them that you won't embarrass or hurt them.
2. Ask them to stand up next to you and hold their dominant arm straight out and parallel to the floor.
3. Tell them that on the count of three, you are going to push their arm down to their side, but you want them to resist with all of their might.
4. Most are able to resist and hold their arm up.
5. Next, have them say "I am a weak and worthless person" slowly, out loud, 10 times. You keep track and tick them off for them.
6. Repeat. Ask them to stand up next to you and hold their dominant arm straight out and parallel to the floor. Tell them that on the count of three, you are going to push their arm down to their side, and they are to resist you.
7. You will be able to push their arm to the floor very easily. Their body responded to their voice, the messages they told themself. Their body now "believes" they are weak and worthless. Notice the surprise on their face!
8. Don't leave them weak and worthless. Repeat the exercise after they have said the following 10 times with conviction. "I am a strong and worthy person!"
9. Repeat. Ask them to stand up next to you and hold their dominant arm straight out and parallel to the floor. Tell them that on the count of three, you are going to push their arm down to their side, and they are to resist you.
10. This time your participant will be able to resist you.

What we tell ourselves can change our feelings and our body's response. If you have negative thoughts running through your mind can you change them? The answer is yes. Positive affirmations can help.

Click here for affirmation resources.

Practice Aloha. Do all things with love, grace, and gratitude.

© 2023 David J. Bredehoft

This article was first published at Psychology Today.

References

Clarke, J. I. (1978). Self-esteem: A family affair. San Fransisco, CA: Harper and Row Publishers.

Clarke, J. I., & Dawson, C. (1998). Growing up again: Parenting ourselves, parenting our children (2nd ed). Center City, MN. Hazelden Press.

Clarke, J. I. (2022). Words that help: Affirmations for any age, every stage. University of Minnesota Press.

Coué, E. (1922). Self mastery through conscious autosuggestion. New York, NY: Malkan Publishing Company. (A partial translation of Coué (1922a) by Archibald S. Van Orden).

Critcher, C. R., & Dunning, D. (2015). Self-affirmations provide a broader perspective on self-threat. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 4(1), 3-18.

Seligman, M. (2022). The robust benefits of positive psychology interventions. Psychology Today. Retrieved July 18, 2023, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/positive-psychology/202209/the-…

Sherman, D. K., & Cohen, G. L. (2006). The psychology of self-defense: Self-affirmation theory. In M. P. Zanna (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 38, pp. 183-242). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.

Steele, C. M. (1988). The psychology of self-affirmation: Sustaining the integrity of the self. In L. Berkowitz (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 21, pp. 261-302). New York, NY: Academic Press.